The Misadventures of the Red, White, and Blue
by The-Cosplay-Nerd
Summary: England comes to visit America and get sent on a rollercoaster of emotions. I don't own anything. Rated T for suggestive content and cussing.
1. Iggy comes to Washington DC

"Iggy-San!" Came a shout, England cursed and spun to face the man who had shouted at him, before letting out a (manly) scream, as he was tackled and sent to the ground.

"America," England grunted, looking up at the smirking mouth, glittering blue eyes with the dorky glasses and the messy blond hair that all belong to the coffee and cheeseburger loving country.

"England, I'm surprised to see you here in my home town!" America exclaimed, england wiggled a bit before freezing as he realized what position they were in, America was sat on his stomach, knees on either side of England.

"Well . . . I decided to come . . . visit," Engalnd said slowly and carefully.

"That's great!" America exclaimed and continued grinning at England. England cleared his throat and tapped Ameirca's leg. America frowned.

"What?" America simply looked down, then back at England.

"Oh!" he said and scrambled up, holding his hand out to England. England took it and stood up, he started dusting himself off, America helped by grabbing Englands hat and sticking it on the other's head, he straightened England's scarf. England bent down to tighten his Converse. When he striaghtened he found himself nose to nose with America. England blushed and stepped back.

"Come!" America exclaimed, grabbing one of Englands bags, England grabbed the other.

"America where are we going?" England asked, following America, he just turned and flashed a smile at England. He led England to a red Lamborghini Veneno with white trim and blue hubcaps. Englands jaw dropped.

"H-how, y-you . . . . wah?" America laughed at the speechless Brit, he opened England's door and took Englands bags. England slid into the car and pulled the door shut. For America eating, like all the time, the inside was surpisingly clean. America got in the car a few seconds later. He started the car and 'Black in Black' by ACDC started blaring. England skyrocketed and then put a hand on his rapidly beating heart. America busted up laughing and turned down the music.

"Hold onto your hat," he said, mischeif in his voice. America rolled down the windows, turned up the music and tore out of the parking lot. England screamed and put one hand on top of his head to hold his hat down while the other hand was trying to buckle his seatblet.

"America! Slow down! America put on your seatbelt! America is this even legal!? AMERICA!" England screamed over 'Highway to Hell'. America laughed but as soon as he got onto the highway he slowed down, Englands knuckles were white as he gripped his armrest. America continued to laugh as he buckled his seatbelt.

"What . . . what was that for?" England asked his voice shaking.

"Just wanted to scare you," America said still chuckling. "I'll be nice now."

"You better," England said. America grinned at England. England reached over and grabbed America's chin turning his head towards the road.

"Eyes on the road."


	2. America's mansion

**A/N: Hey, I decided it had been long enough since I updated this, soooo, Here you all go! Enjoy!**

"America, just how do you afford this house?" England exclaimed, as they walked up to a mini mansion. America chuckled and pushed the door open.

"I do you have a job, you know," he said, hanging his leather jacket on a coat rack.

"As what? A stripper?"

"Maybe, I'll never tell," America said, waggling his eyebrows. "Come on, I'll show you the guest room."

England followed America up the stairs, dragging his suitcases behind him. America stopped and opened a door to a cream colored room. England walked in and looked around with a nod.

"Thank you, America," England said, flopping on the bed. America smirked leaning in the doorway.

"Does this meet your standards?" he asked, coming closer. England raised and eyebrow _(s?)_.

"Mmmm, maybe. It needs more . . . Britishness." Now America raised an eyebrow. England rolled off the bed and knelt on the floor, digging around in one of his bags.

"Do you have any sticky tack?" England asked.

"Yeah, Why?"

"Just get me some please." America rolled his eyes and walked out of the room. England pulled out a string of union jacks and a flag. He drapped the Union Jacks across the end of the bed. There was a loud bang from another room, England rolled his eyes and draped the flag over the door to where it was facing out in the hallway.

* * *

America swore as he banged his head on the desk. He stood up, rubbing his head. America grabbed the sticky tack and walked back to the room England was staying in. He raised his eyebrow at the flag before pushing the door opening and walking in.

"Hey, Tea-freak, here's your sticky tack," America said, he froze, blinking as he looked down at England, he tore his gaze away as England turned.

"Tea-freak? what got into you?" He asked.

"Just hit my head, that's all."

"Oh no," England stood up, stepping close to America. He touched America's forehead where a small welt was already forming.

"Are you alright?" England asked, America's heart skipped a beat, England was maybe three inches away from him.

"America?" England asked quietly.

"Y-yeah! I'm fine, stings a bit, but t-that's i-it," America said, stuttering with the last few words as England leaned closer. At the last second England tipped America's head down and kissed America on the forehead. America turned as red as the red on Englands scarf, England snatched the sticky tack from America and turned away quickly. America started at him.

"I'll go make dinner," He said, he didn't even wait for England's reply before tearing out and running down the stairs and into the kitchen. He leaned against the counter rubbing his face in the attempt to turn it back to normal.

"Oh god," he muttered, and walked to the fridge, tripping over his own feet.


	3. Microwave or Kettle?

England sighed, he started unpacking. After everything was out of his suitcases, he shoves them under the bed. England took his hate off and threw it on the dresser, he stripped off his jacket and scarf, left in just his union jack tanktop.

"England!" Came a shout.

"What?!"

"Dinner!"

"One second!" England shouted back, putting a stray chunk of hair back in place, he grabbbed his hat and put it on, then took it back off, then put it on, finally deciding on keep it off. He ran out the door and down the stairs. He jogged into the kitchen.

"Do you have any tea?" he asked, immedietlly raiding America's cabinets.

"Yeah it's in . . . " America started. England turned to find America staring at him. "That cabinet." he finished, shaking his head slightly.

"Kettle?"

"Microwave."

"Kettle."

"Microwave."

England let out a growl in his throat.

"Here, I'll show you," America said and took the mug from England hand. He filled it with tap water then stuck it in the microwave. A Minute and a half later, he pulled out a steaming cup of hot water. England had a teabag out and ready, he stuck it in the water. England turned back to get the saucer from the cabinet, he turned back around and, for the thrid time in one day, found himself two inches from touching noses with America. He took a step back and ran into the counter, he watched as America took a step toward him, his hand slid across Englands hip, then rested against the counter. England gulped as America took another step forwards, planting one foot between Englands feet and leaned into England pressing him against the counter. England felt a flush rising to his cheeks.

"A-am-america?" England stuttered as he could feel the other countries breath on his neck.

"Hmm?" America mumbled gently kissing England's neck. England had to resist letting out a moan.

"Wh-whattya d-doing?" America gently bit Englands ear, England squirmed. America didn't reply, moving his kissing farther towards Englands mouth.

"Alfred! Englad exclaimed, shoving him away. America smirked at England before turning away to stir something in a pot.

"I made beef stew!" America exclaimed. "Like you used to make me!"

He was promptly hit on the head with a cook book.

"You ass!" England shouted. America laughed, rubbing his head.

"You did that on purpose!"

"Of course I did on it purpose, Iggy, It wasn't an accident," America said, smugly. "Anyway, your tea should be ready."

England, pissed, turned his back on America and stirred sugar into his tea. America got out a couple of bowls and spoon out stew for the both of them. England plopped down at the kitchen table. America walked behind England and slid a bowl in front of him, gently kissing England on the cheek, England turned away. America sat down and both started eating.

"Hey, England?"

"Oh, shut up."

"Hehehehehe."

 **A/N: Gods, that took ages to finally make myself type up . . . anywho! There's that chapter. I swear all the chapters won't be like that. At least I don't think they are . . . .**


	4. American Idiot

**A/N: Okay, before you read this chapter, go back and reread chapter 3. I fixed it so it makes some more sense now.**

England let out a (manly) scream. America came running.

"What's wrong?" America asked as he crashed into the kitchen.

"My . . . My tea!" Engalnd exclaimed, showing America the chewed through teabags. America busted up laughing.

"It's not funny!" England exclaimed throwing a teabag at America's face.

"Yes . . . Yes it is!" American said between laughs. "Your face was too funny!"

England glared at him and threw the empty box at him and stormed out, going up the stairs and slamming the door shut behind himself. He wasn't _actually_ mad at America, but he wasn't going to let the other know that, England sighed, pulling off his shirt with the intention to change. He stopped, looking at the shirt in his hand, he shrugged and dropped it on the floor, his sat down on his bed and pulled out his laptop. England pulled a blanket around his shoulder, turning on his laptop.

Fifteen minutes later, there was a knock on the door. England ignored it.

"Iggy? You're not actually mad at me are you?" America called through the door. Silence from England. "England?"

The door slowly opened, England, have put on both headphones, didn't even notice. America suddenly pushed down his laptop screen, closing it.

"Hey! I was watching that!" England protested, glaring at America, who just pulled off England's head phones and stole the laptop. England pouted, turning away from him.

"Oooo, shirtless! Mind if I join?" America asked, grinning.

"America! Keep your shirt on!" England exclaimed, spinning away and smacking America's hands, which were grabbing the end of America's shirt.

"Ow," America whined, rubbing his hands

"Don't be a cry baby America," England grumbled.

"You're not actually mad at me, are you Iggy?" America asked, giving England a pitiful, dejected look. England gave him an emotionless look.

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. So this really isn't a good time to be flirting," He responded.

"Every time is a good time to flirt!" America exclaimed, grinning.

"No, there _are_ wrong times, and right times."

"And what time would this count as?"

" . . . ." England didn't respond to America, avoiding making eye contact.

"Welll?" America prompted again.

"It's an okay time," England grumbled.

America smirked, he grabbed the blanket that was wrapped around England and pulled the brit up before tossing the blanket to the side.

"Well, if it's an okay time . . . ."

"America, I didn't say you could- Mmm!"

* * *

America chuckled as he closed Englands door behind him, pulling his shirt back on. He walked into his bedroom and flopped down on his bed, he grabbed his phone.

"Hey, France? . . . . . Yeah, It's me. . . . I'm free tonight . . . . Nonono, your place, England's over here . . . naa, it's fine, he's . . . preoccupied.

 **A/N: Don't give me that look, I didn't lie! Not every chapter will be like this. Oh, that's not what you're glaring at me about . . . . . Oooooh.**


End file.
